Feb 07 2009
Vampire Valentine’s Day, part 2
Looks like we’ve reached the home stretch to Valentine’s Day, y’all. Are you ready? I am. We’ve still got Valentine’s Day history and trivia to come in the coming week, but for now we’re going to embark on a bit of silliness. Why? ‘Cause it’s fun!
If you haven’t been over to Your Dark Passenger yet then you’ve probably missed out on reading the first part of this miniseries where we met Gus Limdpick, a 400-year-old Vampire Virgin having a VERY bad morning. You’ll be a little lost without reading that one so I recommend you pop on over with the link above before you read any more of this. (Don’t worry, it was fairly short.)
So let’s get to it…just, uh, keep in mind that this whole thing is a tiny bit tongue in cheek. K? (Rated R because language seems to get away from me. Oops.)
Scarlett the Psy-chick Picks Up the Pieces
Wednesday, February 11th
6:30 pm
Her nerves were shot; had been ever since Matt’s cola and pop rock induced freak-out earlier in the day. Scarlett’s mind was still swimming after that fiasco. Maybe working in the Collection’s Department for Visa wasn’t the best bet for a psychic empath.
Normally she was able to keep her psychic shield up with no problem to block out the emotions of others. Something happened to change that today and she didn’t know what it could be. One minute she’s been going about her job of monitoring the calls for quality assurance purposes and the next she’d received the image of Matt in a fist fight with a man. Matt was a hothead so him in a fight wasn’t much of a stretch, but the fact that he was bitten by the man he was fighting…well, that was a little strange - even for the things she’d seen in her head.
Her ex-husband really should try to control that temper if he didn’t want to get himself killed one of these days. Hell, six months ago, Scarlett had almost done the job herself when she received a vision of him fooling around with her best friend. 
But that was all really beside the point. The strangest part of the day occurred once she was on the phone with Mr. Limdpick. Her shield was useless with him and his rage at being called came through the phone with a force that nearly knocked her down. Though he’d calmed down after that, Scarlett hadn’t been able to restore her shield so she was forced to deal with all his emotions during that awkward phone conversation.
Through it all…something within him called to her.
It was as though she knew him. How was that possible. Surely she would remember knowing someone named Limdpick. It was perhaps the most unfortunate name she’d heard.
Stifling a yawn, Scarlett keyed in a few quick commands pulled up everything Visa had on Limdpick. Since Visa was more powerful than the government, it was a lot to go through. She was ready to give up after an hour of pouring through his permanent record from school when she found it. That was it. That was how she knew him. Of course!
He worked at the law offices of Harlot, Envy, Looker and Lacking. He must have been the security guard who’d escorted her out to her car after a late night deposition. Color rose high in her pale cheeks just thinking about that.
Limdpick was HOT.
Decision made. She was going to HELL to see him. Something inside him was calling to her and no way was she going to ignore the desperate psychic pleas of a hottie.
8:13 pm
Texas weather was crazy. It was the middle of winter and it had been in the 70’s for most of the day, but now? Yeah, sure, whenever Scarlett was forced to park her car two and a half blocks away from HELL, that was well the wind decided to pick up and the temperature had to plummet.
At least she had her swingy leather jacket in the car, but there was nothing she could do about the red stilettos, short black skirt and form-fitting thin red sweater she wore. She probably looked like a hooker, walking the streets in search of a john. Why had she chosen today of all days to rub Matt’s nose in what he was missing out on?
Oh, yeah. It was 3 days before Valentine’s Day and her ex-husband was giving her ex-best friend a ring on Saturday. Bastard.
As she reached the door to HELL, red and blue light flashed and a single bloop of the siren could be heard. This couldn’t be happening. They seriously thought she was a whore. Scarlett started talking even as the officers approached.
“This isn’t what it looks like. I’m meeting someone.”
“I’ll bet,” one of them quipped.
“No, I’m serious.”
“So are we. Let’s take a ride downtown.”
“But we are downtown, officer.”
The older of the two cops grimaced. “Don’t get cute with me, honey. Let’s go.”
Dammit. Where were the annoying psychic on this one? She might have gone home to change first if she’d known.
The door to HELL groaned open and out sauntered the security guard she remembered to be Limdpick. “Everything alright out there, officers?”
“Gus!” The lack of recognition on his face made it clear she was far less memorable than he was. “It’s Scarlet here for that appointment with Mr. Lacking. Scarlet VISA.” 
~~Moral of the story: Don’t date or marry peeps at work!
Again, I have no idea why I’m writing this little mini-series. Sorry if it sucks…but I’m posting more over on Your Dark Passenger soon.
Jen
“The difference? I make sarcasm look good.”
I love it! You have to keep writing it. It’s so funny. I always knew credit card companies were more powerful than the government!
And now that I no longer work for Bank of Satan - yes, they had their own credit card company - I can tell the world of their evils.