The Stiletto Philosopher

Valentine’s Day is upon us.  Are you ready?  Sure, you’ve got the gift, you’ve made the reservation…you’ve even picked out what you’re wearing and done a test-run with your hair…(That last bit means more if you’re a dude.)  Anyway, you’ve got it all figured out, or so you think.

But is Valentine’s Day the day you plan to say those three little words that might just change everything?

*big sigh*  I of course mean “I love you” and not “I like cheese”, in case anyone was wondering.

Here’s the deal…If you’re planning on it, but the mere mention just made a cold sweat form then you need to chillax (I’m too old to say that, aren’t I?) and keep reading for a few simple tips to ensure you don’t vomit on your date from nerves.

Since you’re contemplating saying the words I’m going to assume it’s because you actually feel it and you aren’t just using it as a pathetic ploy to get into some chick’s pants.   Granted, I can’t be held responsible if my tips are used for evil instead of good.  Here they are:

• Write it on the card.  This will allow you to gauge their reaction.  If they get that “I’m gonna run” look then blow it off as one of things peeps write on Valentine’s Day cards.  If their eyes glaze over in the good way, you’re golden.  Consider it the go ahead.
• Use your Random Man moments.  Look, we all do it.  You know what I mean.  Those times when you’re talking about television one moment and the meaning of the life the next?  Throw an “I love you” into the mix.  Same rules as the card apply…
• Let the rose say it.  Now, this assumes you’re actually buying a rose or two.  In this case, you have to go with at least one red rose because it’s the one symbolic of passionate love as opposed to um…generic love(pink), I guess.  White is sympathy and yellow is strictly friendship.  Fire-tipped probably means fiery obsession (stalker much?), but I really don’t know so skip it or read a book rose symbolism.  Anyway, you can talk about the meanings of the roses you do know and end with something like “…and that’s why I chose a red rose for you.”
• Say it in bed.  Look, it’s not like anything we say during an “O” moment can be counted as total truth.  Even if you’re completely clear-headed, they don’t have to know that.  If they say it back, no worries.  If they don’t then it was just a heat of the moment kind of thing.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with looking your valentine deep in the eye, taking a breath and just saying it without all the guises.  Unless this is 11 years ago and you’re my husband dating me then you’re probably not going to get a very matter-of-fact response of “I don’t love you yet.  I’m sorry, was that harsh?”  (Don’t ask.  I actually did say that and for some reason he ended up marrying me anyway…)

Still having a minor freak out about the whole “I love you” thing?  Keep these 5 truths in mind:

1. There is no rule forcing you to say “I love you” just because it’s Valentine’s Day.
2. The absolute worst that can happen is they don’t say it back…yet.
3. If this one doesn’t feel the same way about you that you do about them then maybe they aren’t the one. Life will go on.  I mean, it’s not 2012 yet, right?
4. There’s no rule forcing you to reciprocate someone else’s love just because it’s Valentine’s Day.
5. If the moment feels off then don’t don’t force it.  You WILL know when the time is right.  Trust your gut.  It’s smarter than your heart a good bit of the time…unless you just ate some tainted peanut butter.

Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all.  Love ya lots!  (See how easy it can be when professing your love for random strangers?)

Jen

The difference?  I make sarcasm look good.”

Trackback URI | Comments RSS