The Stiletto Philosopher

As you’ve most likely heard by now, Rihanna and Chris Brown have reconciled.  No, you aren’t imagining things.  It was just on February 8th that Brown reportedly beat his girlfriend to a pulp.  But love is blind so within 20 days the two stars are reunited.

Actually, love must have a massive concussion.

Now quite obviously, no one other than Brown and Rihanna know what happened on the night in question.  While I don’t subscribe to the particular mindset where I could say, “eh…maybe she deserved it,” I am willing to concede there are two sides to every story.  Perhaps she slipped - a lot - and fell into his fists and teeth.  *shrugs*  She’s an adult so the consequences of her choices are her own.

What does concern me is the example being set for young women everywhere.

Right or wrong, anyone in the public eye is a role model for the country’s youth.  There’s already this general attitude among young women that they’ll take whatever emotional abuse a man dishes out as long as he loves them.  Is it a good idea to encourage them to accept physical abuse, too?

Now, I’m not saying this attitude is the fault of celebrities.  It just seems to exacerbate the issue when we see it played out in the media.  And since even a celebrity hang-nail gets broadcast for the world to see, something of the magnitude of abuse is bound to make headlines.

And headlines get read by even the most anti-reading of teens.

I find myself wondering how things will turn out for Rihanna and boyfriend Chris Brown.  Was it really a one-time thing that he’s sorry about and will never happen again?  Or might we be hearing the same story from February 8th over and over in the months to come?

Is forgiveness the one mistake we all make without an end in sight?

While only time will tell if Rihanna’s made the single biggest mistake of her life in taking Brown back, I’m more concerned with what we can do to counteract the damage being done by news stories like these.  If you have (or have influence over) a teenage girl, here are a few tips:

• Use the media coverage as a doorway to broach the subject with them.
• Don’t be preachy or condescending.  (Yeah, turns out they don’t like it any more than you do.)
• Ask for their thoughts on the subject.  (You could ask something like, “Do you think she should have taken him back?”)
• Really listen to the answer they give you.  Ask a follow-up question or two as to why they feel the way they do.
• Make sure she knows that it’s never okay for a guy - any guy - to hit her or make her feel threatened.
• Let her know you’ll always be there for her if she needs to talk about something like that.

Unfortunately, my experience is limited to teen girls so I’m clueless about how the conversation should go if you’re dealing with a young man.  Does anyone have any suggestions?  Or any additional tips for dealing with a teen girl?

Talk to me, peeps.

Jen

“The difference?  I make sarcasm look good.”

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