The Stiletto Philosopher

Well, looks like the cat’s out of the bag about it being my birthday. (Thanks, Star.)  While my birthday may not be terribly exciting - trust me, it’s not - someone else is having a birthday within the next week that’s stirring all sorts of commotion.  Barbie, the blond bombshell doll for children, turns 50 on March 9th.  Since Barbie has everything a girl could want, what gift could she possibly be given she doesn’t already have?

This year, a member of the West Virginia House of Delegates, Jeff Eldridge, has proposed banning the sale of Barbie Dolls in the state.  It’s just what Barbie always wanted.  She’s finally being recognized by lawmakers for her positive contributions to…oh, wait.

Guess this isn’t much of a gift, huh?

So why is this mild-mannered 50-year-old coming under fire?

According to Eldridge, Barbie’s image is one that tells young girls that if they’re beautiful then “you don’t have to be smart.” Though he couldn’t find anyone to co-sign the bill with him, he still intends to bring it up in an official session of the House of Delegates.

I can’t help it.  I have mixed feelings about Barbie.  I mean, her slogan when I was a kid was “We girls can do anything, right Barbie?”  That’s a very positive message for a young girl to hear while she’s growing up.  Right or wrong, there was still this attitude among educators and students while I was in elementary school that even though girls could do whatever they wanted with their lives, they really shouldn’t.  Seeing Barbie as an astronaut in one box and a rock star in another was a very cool thing.

On the other hand, Barbie’s measurements are 36-18-38, a near hourglass figure.  That’s not really the best image for young girls to get into their heads as what a woman should look like.  I’ll be honest here, I came very close to having those measurements when I was in high school, except I wasn’t bottom-heavy so I was more of a true hourglass than Barbie.  But even at my skinniest, even when I had six-pack abs, I never hit the 18″ waist measurement.

And before any of the ladies out there pipe up about how they’d like to have that chest measurement, I assure you, you don’t…unless you’re a stripper.  I had nothing but back problems and aching shoulders.  It was completely not worth it.

Anyway, beauty comes in a variety of sizes and shapes and colors.  It doesn’t just come in the form of the blond beauty.  Oh yeah…of course Barbie has always had her token black and brunette friends - one each - but let’s face it, when you think of Barbie, you think of blond hair, blue eyes, and trashy make up.  Let’s also not forget that when Barbie was supposed to be in a career where she had to be smart, rather than a more subdued and appropriate outfit and make-up, Mattel gave her bright colored glasses.

Because we all know a pair of glasses on your face increases your IQ…

I also have mixed feelings about Barbie’s on-again, off-again relationship with Ken.  I like the fact that Barbie didn’t need a man to buy her Dream House, but is there anyone else out there who’s noticed how disposable Ken has seemed over the years?  Are they even married?  I’m under the impression they had kids; I just can’t remember if they’re supposed to be married or not.

Don’t misunderstand…I’m not blasting people who have kids and aren’t married because we all know it happens and is pretty much acceptable in our society.  I just question the character of a company that might think it’s a good idea to present that as okay to children.  Just because we all know it happens doesn’t mean we should put it out there as the ideal.

We know some people grow up to be serial killers yet I’ve never seen Serial Killer Barbie hit the shelves. (I would so buy that…)

Well…Happy 50th Birthday, Barbie.  We still love you.  Sort of.

Jen

“The difference?  I make sarcasm look good.”

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